The fever

Something has happened. There has been a cosmic shift and literally everyone is doing it. Bees, birds, neighbors, restaurant owners, high school friends, otherwise sane and rational people. They are having BABIES! As in everyone!

Are y’all seeing this? Is there a club I don’t know about? Or a memo that says, “everyone who runs into L must be preggers! And if you’re not just be ambiguous enough to make her feel like she’s going insane!!”

It’s the water. It must be the water.

People. I am not drinking the Kool aid. No matter how cute you tell me the outfits are. I am standing my ground here! I’m serious! Don’t give me that look! So what if I am feeling a little twinge of “look how cute!!”? That proves nothing! I am not ready! Oh my God! What’s happening? Am I melting!?! Melting!!

Oh, okay. The men with the white suits and butterfly nets are here now. Things will be fine. I’m just gonna go and recharge my batteries with some big bottles of store bought water as I contemplate the meaning of life. If you don’t hear from me in a few days, it’s because I’m where ever they put you when this sort of psychotic break in logic occurs. Just ask Anne Heche, she’ll give ya the number.

~L

P.S. Never speak of this ever. As in for-eve-eva.

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