“If you thought you had hand and eye coordination…you were wrong”
So here is my culinary dilemma. I can’t make anything from a box. Give me a complicated recipe with four different pots and tons of prep and I will knock it out of the park. Give me Mac’ and Cheese from a box and it will be a sloppy mess. I am a failure at the quick and ready!
No, I take that back. I make plenty of quick dishes. What I am a failure at, is pre-made food. With steps so simple Koko could do it! (This is the face of a Gorilla horrified by my lack of boxed culinary prowess. Sad, I know)
This little sad cake is a testament to my inability, my handicap if you will. It started for all the right reasons.
I was home. On vacation. Slipping seamlessly into the abyss, when suddenly I realized my recent Birthday lacked a dessert. “WE must rectify the situation!” and yes, I refer to myself by the royal “WE.” Don’t you? Weird that you say no because I for sure caught you doing it just last Thursday…
On to the kitchen I went. I decided, “L, darling, spotlight of sunshine that you are. Don’t clutter your kitchen with a plethora of dishes. Just make a cake from the box!”
Now, somewhere between the poof of the cake thought bubble and frosting the end result things went bad. Maybe it was because I was watching “The Muppets take Manhattan?” Or maybe it was because I was trying to vacuum, practice piano and exercise at the same time? Hmmmm. Things are starting to come together….
Truthfully. I followed the directions exactly with no interruptions, pulled one 9inch round and one 8inch square (because I’m suppose to have TWO round cake pans? What am I? Kristy Alley?) out of the oven at their preferred times.
Then I cooled them on racks. Popped them out and cooled again. And THEN realized I had no real plan for two totally different sized and shaped box cakes. The only logical conclusion was to frost the round and give away the plain square! Ooohhh! Frosting! my little brain exclaimed! Awe, I could color it and make a pretty scroll design and have the most attractive half a layer box cake ever!
Uh huh. RighT. Emphasis on the Ta. Mmmhmmm. Yeah. So, uh, we see how well that worked out.
And no, you cannot submit my creation to Cake Wrecks! It may be sad but it’s not that bad!
Next time I’ll do it up right. Homemade batter, homemade icing, professional cake tools…
Ahh. Martha! Smiles, sunshine…Oh my GOD! MARTHA! What if she sees this?! What if she knows that I am a cake box failure!?! Will she take my cool card back? Will she force me to turn in my pearls?
On second thought maybe I’ll just buy one! Who better to bake then a trained professional? I think I’ll stick to cooking complicated foods and leave the boxes and the baking alone for a while!
Tell me friends. Are you box baking challenged?