Did you feel it?

Martha Stewart

You felt it right? The earth kinda shook a little? Yeah, that was because the two awesomenessest (ha! how’s that for new vocab!) peeps, who let’s face it rule the world, got together today.

Yup. At 4pm the two women who give this world order and fantastic accoutrements were together! Martha Stewart and Oprah!!!!Making flavored Russian Vodka, Bloody Mary’s and folding fitted sheets!!!!!! People THIS is my fantasy. Mock not my feathered friends or I’ll…get back at you with something really bad…like…

Yeah, llama face.

Martha did her, how to fold a fitted sheet perfectly, which is my favorite tip from her!! It was that very segment years ago that made me realize this lady is the shiznit. The real deal. Probably my true mother (I am still holding on hope that she is coming back for me. Shut it, she is too awesome to not be my kin) I always give her credit for really teaching me how to fold a fitted sheet with perfection! Sure, Theresa (the best Gramz eva!) gave me the skills, but Martha refined them.

Look at that smile! That smile says “you are all a bunch of shit heads and I could’ve wrapped you up in newspaper coffins in twenty seconds if I wasn’t being paid soo much damn money right now. Suck on that you peons! And fix that lighting NOW!” without really saying it! Amazing right? This woman is actually insulting you as you listen to her advice and pay money for her knowledge and kick-ass products! I mean, she is down right condescending to her guests, fans and family! I freakin’ love it! Bless your heart Martha, and bless it big time!

Her cool, calculating execution of household matters is the model I live by. Martha makes me normal. I big heart her. I heart her even more because she is a biotch and throws the smack down to not only get it done, but to get it done with perfect pleats, clean floors and adorable homemade decor!

vela: Young Martha Stewart. Babe alert!

Plus! Wasn’t she like a total babe!

My hero (shhh, don’t tell O!)



3 thoughts on “Did you feel it?

  1. You’re not gone even a month and you’ve completely lost it. I worry my dear friend, I truly do. Put down the remote and go take Lucy for a walk. Fresh air will do you good.
    Love, Your friend Petite flower

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