“And in conclusion may I say that it does not say RSVP on the statue of Liberty!”
See that? Hilarious writing!
Does it happen anymore? NO! No my friends it does not!
I had to pull this one out of the Clueless archives! Even scarier, there are people who have never seen this movie!!!AHHHHHHH!
I can’t go on! Please peeps, write to Hollywood and tell them to lay off the tanner and get back to the good stuff!
If need be, use my template as inspiration:
Dear alleged writers,
Get out of the clubs, put down the Dom and start smoking pot again! I need some decent new comedies!!! You’ve dropped the ball and seriously you’re getting fat. I know. This comes as a shock. Probably because you’re surrounded by a bunch of fame grubbing sycophants. But seriously I need you to get back in the game. Things are desperate out here. I mean there have been a few movies recently that gave me a chuckle (uh, scratch that, NONE come to mind) but I have been relying on the classics for way too long.
I need to know, will you ever start writing witty comedies again? Or is it all going the way of Owen Wilson? I mean Superbad was like years ago. And yeah, Pineapple Express made me pee my pants but 2010 has seen nothing! Zip, zero, nada. Okay, so the Hangover had some hilarious moments but really nowhere near the caliber of classic comedies. I need some Vince Vaughn circa Old School and Wedding Crashers. I need Paul Rudd circa Clueless, and let’s just get Jim to cut the hair, drop the do-gooder bull and start talking out of his ass again!
You know who is hilarious? Who’s kicking your sorry excuse for an ass? TV WRITERS! Pu-ch-a! Take that you biotches! Yeah, they are stomping your skills right down your wanna be cool throats! Modern Family, The Middle, Cougar Town, 30 Rock, Parks and Rec…Need I say more.
Get your priorities straight. Put the Gucci clothes away, get back in your sweats, pull out the grass and start creating something worth laughing at! And that goes for you too Cohen Brothers!!! Don’t think you can just rest on your laurels. Pull it together or the next thing you’ll write will be an episode of the Hills! And it’s canceled! So, yeah,”Whatever”!